Mommy Guilt and the IEP

We got Picasso’s official Evaluation Report in the mail today.  Especially after the team meeting, the report contains nothing new.  Still, it is a shock to the system to see other people put into writing what I have known about my 4 year old for the last few centuries.

Now, if something obviously physical was the problem — say, walking, for example — I would not be conflicted about this report.  But his [new] problems are in the social/emotional/behavior area.  He does not socialize well.  Inattention and distractibility cause problems with him functioning in the classroom.  (Yes I know, if he doesn’t have ADHD, he has something that shares many of the same symptoms, even if it is only sleep apnea.)

How to deal with this is a puzzle.  I’m pretty sure they can teach children social skills, and he needs that.  But how do you teach a child how to pay attention?  How do you get his *!%#* attention to teach him anything?

And of course, the guilt comes into play.  How can you be a modern parent without heaps of guilt?  I am trying not to think that, if I had been a better parent, he would be able to socialize better with his peers.  If I got down on the floor and played with him more, he would have better play skills.  (Who knew that play was even a skill?)  If I had just …

And my thoughts are interrupted with a Picasso, stop tormenting the cat. Picasso. PICASSO!!! [walk over there and remove the cat, wondering how to get this child to hear my voice]  Why don’t we play a game to work on your play skills.  No, Candyland is not all about the monkeys.  5 minutes later he’s still focused on the gumdrop forest and doesn’t even notice there are cards. How many times have we played this game?

I guess maybe ADHD is hereditary.


About Sarah Unsicker

Candidate for Missouri House of Representatives, 91st District. Mother, wife, friend, education advocate, lawyer.
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One Response to Mommy Guilt and the IEP

  1. Heather says:

    It is NOT your fault! I’ll say it again, it is NOT your fault! You have worked to get him as much help as you possibly can from very early on. Sometimes these things just happen and they are nobody’s fault.

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